Thinky Thoughts: Anxiety and Food


I used to be a comfort food eater. If I was having a highly stressful day, or I was upset about something – I’d totally reach for something tasty to make myself feel better. I mean, let’s face it, a nice warm gooey grilled cheese can easy many of life’s ills (at least temporarily). This is something I’ve worked hard at overcoming in the last 18 months, and I’ve been pretty good about it. However, something I’ve discovered recently (well, I’ve known about it, but it’s really become front and center within the last month) is that when I have actual anxiety issues (even full-blown panic mode) – food is the last thing on my mind.

While this sounds like it would be awesome for someone who is dieting, it’s really not. For example, when we were facing hurricane Florence, all thoughts of food simply vanished several days before she was due to hit. Even the couple days that I managed to come close to my calorie goal, it was more of an afterthought and me simply grabbing whatever was handy (usually high-calorie junk), as I didn’t have the spoons to deal with much else. Even once we got back home and knew everyone was safe, I still had a hard time feeling hungry.

I’ve really struggled the last couple weeks trying to get back on track with my diet – and in truth, I haven’t gotten there, it’s still been pretty hit or miss. And now we are facing another storm (though probably not as bad for us, still not great) and again my appetite is gone. I’m not beating myself up about this, because I’ve got enough stress to deal with, but it definitely sucks.

I started another HealthyWage challenge and the Fall Fitness challenge at my gym, but I have no motivation for either one at the moment. I had hoped to start going to my gym more often, but at this point just going to my weekly small group training takes all the extra energy I have.

Fall used to be my favorite season (and in some ways it still is), but these days, I can’t wait for it to end. As much as I dislike winter – I’ll take it any day over the hell that is hurricane season.

Anyway, if you are going through something similar – be kind to yourself and remember you are doing the best you can. ❤

Advertisements

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 77


Week 77 Current Weight: 234

Pounds Lost This Week: 6

Total Weight Lost: 156 pounds

Water weight is fun. XD

One of my goals for this current fitness challenge is to go to the gym more often. At one point I was going almost every day for a while, but as summer hit I got lazy and have only been going to my Monday evening small group training. Even though we’re getting ready to start week 3 on Monday, so far, I’m still just going my same old once a week. Though to be fair, the kiddo’s been having a rough time the last month or so, and I’m still trying to recover from the ginormous panic attack and utter exhaustion that was hurricane Florence. Everything was fine here at the house, but the mental stress of it all, not to mention we ended up leaving town just in case (since originally we were going to be in a more direct path), was pretty significant.

My eating habits have still been a little off. Either I’m not hungry or when I am, there’s nothing that I want (all I want is junk and I’m trying really hard not to give in to that too much). Hopefully, things will work themselves out soon.

I did start another HealthyWage challenge as well. The goal is to lose 25 more pounds in the next 6 months. I know it’s a fairly conservative goal (since I usually average more than a pound a week weight loss), but I also know the holidays are coming up, so I figured it was better to aim low than to set myself up for total failure. Anyone who wants to join me – please feel free.

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 59


Week 59 Current Weight: 253

Pounds Lost This Week: 3

Total Weight Lost: 137 pounds

Still on sort of a gym break, other than my Monday night thing. I definitely feel better when I work out more regularly, but the weather’s been total shit and I am lazy. On the plus side, I was a lot more careful this week about snacking (have to without the extra calorie burn) and was able to drop 3 pounds. It also helped that I literally had to run through an airport the other day. NSV… I didn’t die (a year ago, hell even 6 months ago, I’d have literally not made it). All that hard work at the gym actually counts for something!! LOL

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 58


Week 58 Current Weight: 256

Pounds Lost This Week: 1

Total Weight Lost: 134 pounds

I didn’t work out much this week (other than my Monday hour of TRX/strength and 30 minutes on the elliptical). Some of it was just not feeling like it and needing a break, though to be fair, I also had a number of other things going on that ate into my gym time as well.

On the one hand, I feel much better when I exercise daily – not only physically, but mentally as well. On the other, however, I end up being really hungry all the time. The really sad part is that the exercise – at least in terms of weight loss – makes very little different to the numbers on the scale at the end of the week. Hopefully I’ll find a bit more motivation to get back at it this coming week.

 

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 57


Week 57 Current Weight: 257

Pounds Lost This Week: 2

Total Weight Lost: 133 pounds

Ate at my favorite Indian restaurant for Mother’s Day with the oldest and his wife (and had a couple slices of pizza Saturday), but otherwise stayed very strictly to my calorie goals for the rest of the week. Exercised every day, except for Thursday, though Monday I didn’t get my extra elliptical work in – only did TRX/strength, but just ran out of time. Waffled a bit over taking Thursday off, but in the end was just tired and needed the break.

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 55


Week 55 Current Weight: 260

Pounds Lost This Week: 1

Total Weight Lost: 130 pounds

Slow and steady wins the race…. right?

Still a bit frustrating though. I mean, I am going to the gym daily now (I’ve pretty much doubled my activity) and even counting the pizza I had earlier in the week, with all the extra exercise, I should have been WAY under my calorie goal. Instead, I’m barely scraping off a single pound.

 

 

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 54


Week 54 Current Weight: 261

Pounds Lost This Week: 1

Total Weight Lost: 129 pounds

I was at 260 pounds yesterday afternoon before I went to see Infinity War – where I ate chicken tenders and a ton of popcorn – however this morning I’m all bloaty from the salt, so I’m around 262, so I’m just splitting the difference since I know it’s not actual weight gain.

Still going to the gym daily and doing 30-45 minutes on the elliptical, along with one small group strength training session each week. It really does seem to be helping, especially since I’ve been a little less strict about my eating. Burning an extra few calories a day definitely makes a difference.

On a side note – we had the end of challenge meeting at my gym and I came in second place for the most weight lost (just over 21 pounds). I actually lost the most pounds, but they ranked everyone as a percentage of total body weight (to make it more fare) and there was someone else who lost a higher percentage. Which is totally cool. She wasn’t in my group, but she also lost the most inches, and I hear she worked out like crazy through the whole challenge. Not that I was totally slacking, but I wasn’t killing myself either. Looking forward to the fall challenge to do it all over again. Also picked up a couple of free smoothies and a free year of locker use, as well. Would have had a $25 gift card too, but after they pulled my  name a 3rd time, I figured I should really share the wealth some and asked them to draw again (and thankfully they pulled someone else’s name).

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 52


Week 52 Current Weight: 263

Pounds Lost This Week: 4

Total Weight Lost: 127 pounds

I went to the gym every day this week, except Sunday. Other than the small group thing I have on Mondays, which is mostly strength, I’m aiming for at least 30 minutes a day (45 is even better) on one of the recumbent elliptical machines they have. For the most part, I just throw on whatever show I’m currently watching and whenever the episode is done, then I’m good to go. I’m not doing anything super-intensive, but it’s an extra 150+ calories burned so it’s better than nothing. And hopefully, I’ll be able to work up from there, eventually getting to a place where I can make it a more intense workout.

My goal is to go at least 5 days a week, more if I’m feeling froggy. Here’s hoping I can stay motivated. XD

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 44


Week 44 Current Weight: 282

Pounds Lost This Week: 0 (gained 4)

Total Weight Lost: 108 pounds

Birthday week. It was a given that I’d gain a couple pounds, we ate at Olive Garden Sunday (Valentine’s/Birthday) and then last night I went to see Black Panther (awesome!!) and had a pile of chicken tenders along with cake. So like, yeah… But still, I stayed within goal 5 of 7 days (along with still working out) and yesterday morning, I was still weighing in at 278. So four pounds just because I ate food yesterday!!?